dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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