yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
