break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
