His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
