Christians are straight up FREAKS
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
