My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
