i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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