I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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