Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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