before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
