guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
