Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
