i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
