I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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