careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
