Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Randomize
