fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
