you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
