I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
