Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
