Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
