I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
