She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
