This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
