Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
