i jhust puked up my retainher.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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