Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
