after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
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