Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
3 2 1 whiskey
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
