I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Randomize
