he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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