You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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