Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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