does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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