he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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