there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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