He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
