oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
