did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
