i was rollin on her like bob the builder
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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