There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
