after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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