You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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