there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
