I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
