i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
