you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
