Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
