4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I am midnight drunk by noon
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
