final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
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