I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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