My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
