We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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