I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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